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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

There’s this thing we call “humility” when being asked. Here are the few rules that are supposedly to be followed when answering a question.

1. Keep your answer brief.
2. Keep your answer related.
3. Say nothing unnecessary.
4. Follow/answer it with another one.
5. Be sarcastic.

Numbers 4 and 5 add wittiness, thus they optional. The first three, however, are important; violation of these rules would result into something like this…

“Isa po akong Psychology, at nakikita kong wala naman s’yang diperensya…” -Marian Rivera

It won’t take long before they air something like…
“tao lang po ako, nagkakamali rin. *Sniff sniff* Sana naman po huwag nila ako husgahan, mayabang lang talaga ko paminsan-minsan.” Then again, I’m just assuming.

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Here are a couple of letters I sent last week:

Dear Sun,

We all know you’re hot. Please stop being a bitch about it.

Burned to crisp,
Masen

Dear High school friends,

I know we have an annual swimming and everything during summer and we rarely see each other. But 5 am is too much for me. 350 is too much as well.

Wanting to sleep,
Me

Dear Daimos,

Thank you for passing me. It would be amazing if you passed my other friends as well. It would be even mooore amazing if you become wee-bit more considerate. But then again, you passed me.

Now confused,
Masen

Dear Garcia,

I was serious about the Smith and Wesson. But I can settle with an air soft, all right.

Hoping you took it seriously,
Me

Dear Innxh,

Thank you for this idea. It’s just as awesome as you are. May is nearing, get your ass over here.

Patiently waiting,
Walrus

Dear Csdae,

Can we cut the crap and face reality? I miss you. Sorry, I’m too lazy.

Adsds,
Etesdfdg

Dear Masculinity,

These “guys” need you badly. Their testosterone just hit rock bottom.

Badly disturbed,
Masen

P.S. Bieber needs you as well.

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There are three tags that kept this blog alive
1. The Jeje People pOeEhwZ,,,,!!!
2. Manny Villar and his douchebaggery
3. Justin Bieber being gay

DEFINE: JEJE PEOPLE?JEJEMON

The internet lacks the proper description of the jeje people. I know and understand why. Words seem to be insufficient and proper typing style used in defining them raised a lot of complaints from the HJO (Homo-Jejenus Organization), claiming that it destroys their image and

hInd3 nAhMaAn pFo0o3zS kAmEe gAnyUhNzS mAg-tYPeEe eEhZ,,,,, jEjE,,, sO siMpL3,,, e33wZzsS,,!!

So here are a few pictures that can enlighten your definition of “jeje people”:

NSFW!!

And how rational people plan to solve this alsdjieafjks…

Here’s something serious on jeje’s etymology.

jeje is the derrogative term used for a certain categorised kind of people, mostly with the origin/roots from Spain or Venezuela. In their language the letter j isn’t pronounced as we know. Their j sounds more like our h with a presound of a person that has got something stuck in his/her throuht, hence they type jejeje or jajaja when they want to express laughing in written words, which happen more than often. This is why we call them jejes. READ MORE

Note: This post was made weeks before the jejemon outbreak. It’ll be awesome to know how much traffic I can get by adding a jejemon tag. WHAT UP. Still, jeje people=jejemon. Back then we had no specific term. Post updated.

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I have too much things to do lately. This week is hell week number 3 and I got two more to go, finals included. I am supposed to be reading 51 pages of scientific shiz which I probably wouldn’t understand even if I had read the entire thing. It, too, would be irrelevant, unimportant at the least, during the finals. I remember couple of months back, say 12, I chose Physical effin’ Therapy. Nobody told me we’ll be having Hagfishes as patients. Oh no, that’s not all, apparently, we’d be having amniotes, anurans, crocodilians and cows as regulars too. That’s probably why they didn’t specify Physical Therapy, Major in Treating Human Patients.

Hagfish. Not cool.

It’s kind of difficult to set your mind to your goal when you know you are taking a detour. It would probably help me/us in the long run, but of course, it’s too vague for now. I’m not doing that terrible anymore in inhumanely dissecting animals. Muscular, digestive, respiratory and urogenital systems of the cat weren’t that hard. I (kind of) regret not really studying during Zoology last semester. If I did, hello DL, probably. But it’s too late for that now, today is tomorrow’s regrets and yesterday’s hope. I can’t wait for summer! I mean seriously, summer break should start next week. But no! Not for two more weeks!! Ugh. It is hell month and a quarter.

Stupidity comes in mysterious ways. This specific stupidity came in a heart-pounding, grade-threatening, funny-yet-shameful way.

Break before Logic class, inside the cafeteria, reviewing for (logic) test we barely studied for.

Me: Ang aga pa pala. 12:40 pa lang.
Lyssa: Ano?
Me: 2:40 pala. Hahaha.
Lyssa: Anong oras ba class natin? 2:30 di ba?
Garci, Lyssa, Shaw, Me: *Panics*

Barely made it in time. Whew! All four of us passed!!

I guess we have luck….

*Takes off sunglasses* …On our side.

RUN!!!

YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

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School Blahs

Top reason why you shouldn’t be excited when doing math:

Found somewhere in the net

Reality

Reality

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HOMO JEJENUS INVADES FACEBOOK! NOOOO!

click image for full size

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Top Five…

TOP FIVE INNUENDOS HEARD FROM EDUCATORS

5. Talking about exoskeletons:
Reptiles are usually horny

4. An example given by my Logic professor:
Bend over the flowers

3. When talking about stages of reading our professor told us:

You’re not in this stage until you’re ready to swallow it whole

2. My gay chemistry teacher in high school, reprimanding me how laidback I was, told me this:

Kaunting himas lang ‘yan. Kaunting push

And the top…

1. My world lit professor was discussing how pissed of Achilles was and how he challenged Hector. Inconveniently, this is what he said:

HECTOR! LUMABAS KA! MAG-SEX TAYO!

Alright, maybe the last one wasn’t an innuendo :))

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