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Archive for the ‘Films’ Category

There’s this thing we call “humility” when being asked. Here are the few rules that are supposedly to be followed when answering a question.

1. Keep your answer brief.
2. Keep your answer related.
3. Say nothing unnecessary.
4. Follow/answer it with another one.
5. Be sarcastic.

Numbers 4 and 5 add wittiness, thus they optional. The first three, however, are important; violation of these rules would result into something like this…

“Isa po akong Psychology, at nakikita kong wala naman s’yang diperensya…” -Marian Rivera

It won’t take long before they air something like…
“tao lang po ako, nagkakamali rin. *Sniff sniff* Sana naman po huwag nila ako husgahan, mayabang lang talaga ko paminsan-minsan.” Then again, I’m just assuming.

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LUMUHA KA, AKING SINING
Amado V. Hernandez

Lumuha ka, aking Sining; buong lungkot mong iluha

ang kawawang kapalaran ng alagad mong kawawa;

Ang ordeng iginagawad dapat sa mga dakila,

ay order na lamang ngayon mula sa pangulong daya.

Sa tatlumpo’t pitong taon, tila bahay itong sira

Na noong nagdaang buwan ay tuluyan nang nagiba.

Lumuha ka, habang sila sa palasyo’y nagdiriwang

Sa libingan ng matuwid, baluktot ay may libangan

Katulad mo’y Inang Bayan na nagmukhang si Bakekang

Katulad mo’y si Juana Change, binaliw ng kahirapan.

Kung ang bumuhay kay Panday at ang pumatay kay Panday

ay kasabwat nina Pandak, baka mabuhay ang patay!

Iluha mo ang sambuntong kasawiang nagtalakop

Na sa kultura’y pahirap, sa buwitre’y pampalusog;

Ang lahat mong kalinisa’y kamal-kamal na nauubos,

Ang lahat mong katapata’y sabay-sabay na natapos;

Masdan mo ang iyong dila, dayong wika’y nakatanod

Masdan Mo ang iyong diwa, pagkabansa’y nasa laot!

Lumuha ka kung sa puso ay nagmaliw na ang layon

Kung ang araw sa langit mo’y The True, The Good, The Beautiful;

Kung ang alon sa dagat mo ay mayroong I am Ninoy

Kung ang bulkan sa dibdib mo’y umusok ng New Millennium;

Kung wala nang maglalamay pati ang Erap for the Poor,

Lumuha sa I am sorry pagkat tuta kang inulol!

May araw ding ang luha mo’y masasaid, matutuyo,

May araw ding ang mata mo’y tuluyan nang manlalabong

tulad ng katotohanang umiiyak na ng dugo,

samantalang ang sikmura’y aserong kumukulo.

Sisigaw kaming artista—sa liyab ng libong sulo;

ang bungang hinog sa pilit ay tansong tubog sa ginto!

Watch the video. Please.
Artista ng Bayan, ngayon ay lumalaban!

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Movies (2)

I’ve been itching all week to write a review about this. And just a foreshadowing where this review is going, I want you all to know that I am in my room 12 midnight, lights are out, alone and writing (obviously) about Paranormal Activity. So much for the preamble, let’s start with the bloody criticism. The problem with movies with so much hype is most of the time, if not always, they cannot live up to it. And Paranormal Activity is no exception and in fact it is a goddamn great example. The film obviously was on a shoestring budget, but it ain’t a valid excuse.
What does it lack? Uh, the effectiveness of scaring the hell out of you because it has “Paranormal” on its title and it is currently being promoted by people as one of the best films of all-time. The promotion was way too good for the film; it’s like the $425 worth capsule to make your shit glitter like gold. (Seriously, I didn’t made that up) Anyhoo, comparing it to some of the movies that used the same approach (uh the first person kind of thing) it doesn’t live up to its standards. It wasn’t even half as scary as the [REC] remake Quarantine.

How could it have been better? Well, if it was graphic- there was absolutely no need for special effects for this one. Their approach of being “realistic” about it missed every freaking note. If I’m not mistaken, both of the actors are acting students. To be fair, the final minutes were creepy, but not I-can’t-look-is-it-over creepy but more of the yikes-that’s-creepy-eh creepy and the ending was a bit solid too. So the bottom-line is, the film is boring, over hyped, unrealistic, poorly acted and written. Out five stars, I give one… for the exorcist clip played on Mica’s computer. Oops. Spoiler.

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I was busy in school lately; exams came up. And I still have no idea what to put it in here. So for the sake of posting something and relieving myself of the anxiety of scarcity of thought, here are some videos.

I’m a Yankee fan but this is soo great. They do this every eight inning against Yankees in Fenway. Pretty much like Boston’s version of Yankee’s roll call.

I really want to commend how great Puck was in this cover, but I don’t know, words fail to describe it. Ugh. Compa just drained my brain I’m sorry. I promise to post something worth reading as soon as I relieve my self of the pressure school is giving me.

~Pressure, pushing down on me, pressing down on you. ~

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Transformers 2: Revenve of the Fallenrevenge

Transformers’ sequel Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen shown last June 24 and was released in DVD just last 20th of October. The film was a grueling 2 hours, 29 minutes and 48 seconds long. 2 hours explosions, 29 minutes of Megan Fox’s behind and 48 seconds for the plot. There’s actually no difference between watching the film and listening to a jackhammer for 2-and-a-half freaking hours! No parody can be as shitty as this. Maybe some ass-kicking Decepticon took the place of Michael Bay.

Rating: *

 

Coraline (2009)draft_lens2333266module44485892photo_1250757561coraline-poster-large

The 2009 stop-motion 3D fantasy sends chills to my spine while watching it. I mean seriously, don’t you get creeped out when some alien-looking-with-buttons-as-eyes female trying to stitch goddamned buttons on your eyes. Freaky! But like most ‘creepy’ films, it only works once. It’s beautiful, it’s scary, it’s awkwardly strange- much like your wife.

Rating: ****

Assassination of a High School Presidentassa

You know the boring nature channels? Multiply the boredom by 5 and you get this, Assassination of a High School President. It’s too boring for a movie with “assassination” and “president” in the title. Well, you might like it if you’re a hardcore investigation fan. Funke (Thompson) is a school paper writer who has no class other than Spanish with his creepy professor and tries to solve “the mystery of the missing SAT” that no one really cares about. [SPOILER!] It’s boring and should be titled “Assassination of the President’s Slutty-Yet-Oh-So-Hot Girlfriend.”

Rating: **

Watchmenwatchmen

Alan Moore’s (and perhaps the worlds) most successful graphic novel comes to life. The film sticks to the original awesome plot, which most of (us) comic geeks would love; some screen shots are even the exact copies from the graphic novel. Soundtrack was great; effects were superb; acting was good; the costume (except for ozymandias’ nipples) is absolutely great. The film was bloody, sexy, dark, and strangely has a great cobalt blue dong.

Rating: *****

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I really don’t have enough to say but I feel the need to write something, so here goes. Halloween, I never felt its presence as I child if it wasn’t for the scary shows shown on TV every October 31st. I can clearly remember watching the scary episode of MMK and apparently it is still shown up to know. And I still refuse to watch it again. I have only seen it once and never in my life I’m going to watch that again. I can deal with throat-slashing, flesh-eating, bone-breaking psycho-maniac monsters and other gory & scary stuff. Ghosts aren’t that hard to watch too, all you have to deal with is a week-long paranoia after watching it. I can watch all this sh*ts including Blair Witch Project, The Ring, Shutter and probably the infamous Paranormal Activity. What I cannot stand watching are the films dealing with hell and evils that came straight from it. I was only able to watch The Exorcist when I was with my 40 something friends. The Exorcism of Emily Rose is too creepy for me and Drag Me To Hell gave me the creeps for 2 weeks or something. I do not know what is up with those but it freaks the hell out of me. All right, that’s enough. We’re going to Bulacan tomorrow; Imma leave my laptop. Happy Halloween everyone! 😀

My aunt just asked me if I want a Wii for Christmas; of course I said NO. I’ll explain everything on my next post.

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