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On Stupid Excuses

There’s a good number of students justifying that there should be no classes this coming Monday because of the first ever State of the Nation Address (SONA) of the newly-elected president of the Philippines, Noynoy Aquino. (Or known colloquially as, P-Noy) Students are (somehow) addressing to the government that they are concerned citizens of this country whodeserve to know what is actually going to happen to their country for the next six years of Aquino’s administration. Here’s an excerpt of what these co-students are actually trying to brainwash us with:

“Kailangang maging holiday ang July 26, not for the benefit of the students as a student or a teen but, as a citizen. It doesn’t mean na ayaw namin pumasok, gusto namin gumala, gusto namin magpahinga, or tinatamad kami, kung hindi dahil gusto namin malaman kung ano ang magiging plano ng gobyerno para sa ating lahat, lalong-lalo na sa aming mga estudyante.

Always keep in mind na ito ang first SONA ni bagong Pang. Noynoy Aquino. Dahil ito ang una, hindi ba mas maganda kung malalaman natin ang mga una niyang plano upang mabigyan natin siya ng constructive criticisms as time goes by? Kailangan ng ating gobyerno ng mga kritiko. Kailangan nila ng mga kritiko mostly from the teens dahil sa mga teenagers din lang naman maipapatong ang responsibilidad sa takdang panahon.

Anyway, baliktarin man natin ang mundo, buo na ang desisyon ng pamahalaan na magkaroon na lamang ng pasok sa darating na Lunes. In my opinion, this would be a great mistake of our government not letting the youth to be able to hear and speak out their opinions regarding the plan of the government for our country.” (SOURCE)

Okay, fine. So this is not an excerpt, this is the entire justification/brainwashing strategy. I just thought I can copy-paste a portion of it and still retain their point and their justifications of their point. But I don’t think that would give them justice, so I took the entire thing and pasted it here. Nobody died in the process, so we can move on.

Here’s the deal, I am a student and honestly, I know the liberation the suspension of classes brings upon us. I sometimes come up with silly, non-sequitur excuses to have what I want. It sometimes works, but at most it does not. And this specific excuse of the self-proclaimed concerned-citizens of the next generation will not cross my mind because it is amazingly futile and (I am avoiding to state the obvious but,) stupid. You see, the problem with their argument is that you can fly a Boeing 747 right through its hole. So here are my counterarguments in bullets (the most fad way of stating them) that I think these students cannot give a decent rebuttal to.

  1. The papers of the day after the SONA will contain the entire speech of the president.
  2. Replays will air almost non-stop for the next 7 days on late-night news way after classes are dismissed
  3. The internet, the infinite source of youth’s intelligence today, will surely have this.
  4. Quiapo might have a DVD copy of this for 35 pesos or so.
  5. Or if you are really that concerned with what the president is actually going to say and want to watch this live on national television like one of Pacquiao’s fight, then absent yourselves from school.

CONFESSIONS PART 1

Like all famous confessions, this one will also come in parts.

Part 1: The when.

About a year ago, I decided to start blogging. It was a brain-draining process of coming up with fresh ideas I which I think people can relate to; thus giving me enough views I want. My blogging life somehow revolved around that specific idea. Late October last year, my depression has brought me to write something more personal and heartfelt. It felt good but didn’t quite clicked; so I stopped. Then when I was back to my ‘sober’ state, I went back to blogging what I think are the possible top google searches will be. Hence, the Bieber jokes, Villar asshole-ness and the now famous, jejemon. Ah. The jejemon phenomenon. I, probably, am one of the first people who blogged about this jejemon fever or whatever they call it now. I first coined them as “Jeje People”, showed a little respect and a liter of disgust. Now that little respect is continuously draining. But this is article is not about them. Yes, it probably is a wonderful way to become ‘famous’ in the blogging world or whatever people call this back alley of literature. The problem I have with this blogging-what-the-internet-wants is I somehow lose myself in the process. Hence, my absence. I tried to find what I can do with so little talent that I have. How I can remotely relate to people without losing my own personal brand of heroine. LOLJK. I think everyone will agree that there are number of grammatical error in this post alone, but fuck it. No one follows these rules really, except the Nazis.

There’s this thing we call “humility” when being asked. Here are the few rules that are supposedly to be followed when answering a question.

1. Keep your answer brief.
2. Keep your answer related.
3. Say nothing unnecessary.
4. Follow/answer it with another one.
5. Be sarcastic.

Numbers 4 and 5 add wittiness, thus they optional. The first three, however, are important; violation of these rules would result into something like this…

“Isa po akong Psychology, at nakikita kong wala naman s’yang diperensya…” -Marian Rivera

It won’t take long before they air something like…
“tao lang po ako, nagkakamali rin. *Sniff sniff* Sana naman po huwag nila ako husgahan, mayabang lang talaga ko paminsan-minsan.” Then again, I’m just assuming.

Before I say anything, it would probably be best if I made it clear that I support ABS-CBN over GMA. Given that those are the only two options, of course. On the few times I get to catch the new fad of PBB fanatics, PBB Teen Clash… or something, I sense nothing but overwhelming bitchiness. I saw the past PBBs and they were different from this one. The idea of the previous ones was you lock a good number of people in a house and hope it sells. But now the recipe was different.

1. Threw twice the number of normal housemates.
2. Draw a line between the aristocrats and the bourgeoisie. The same line people are trying to erase for the longest time. Spitting on people’s face is optional.
3. Draw the same line again.
4. And again. And again.
5. Add some barbed wire.
6. Pour 32592.3121 gallons of gasoline.
7. Lit.
8. Watch in awe.
9. Destroy the remaining value today’s youth have.

This edition of PBB worsens the already dilapidated value of the Filipino teen that the grown-ups are ranting about. Ironically, these grown-ups who complain most about the douchebaggery of the youth of today are the same people who place the youth’s value at the brink. PBB now is pure business, no different from a cockfight. ABS-CBN should think twice with the project they’re approving. Highlighting the already highlighted demarcation line between the classes is probably the worst thing media can do intentionally to teenagers or to anyone. But to fucking teenagers?!

There’s a lot more to say but com’on… does it look like they even care?

Letters (1)

Here are a couple of letters I sent last week:

Dear Sun,

We all know you’re hot. Please stop being a bitch about it.

Burned to crisp,
Masen

Dear High school friends,

I know we have an annual swimming and everything during summer and we rarely see each other. But 5 am is too much for me. 350 is too much as well.

Wanting to sleep,
Me

Dear Daimos,

Thank you for passing me. It would be amazing if you passed my other friends as well. It would be even mooore amazing if you become wee-bit more considerate. But then again, you passed me.

Now confused,
Masen

Dear Garcia,

I was serious about the Smith and Wesson. But I can settle with an air soft, all right.

Hoping you took it seriously,
Me

Dear Innxh,

Thank you for this idea. It’s just as awesome as you are. May is nearing, get your ass over here.

Patiently waiting,
Walrus

Dear Csdae,

Can we cut the crap and face reality? I miss you. Sorry, I’m too lazy.

Adsds,
Etesdfdg

Dear Masculinity,

These “guys” need you badly. Their testosterone just hit rock bottom.

Badly disturbed,
Masen

P.S. Bieber needs you as well.

There are three tags that kept this blog alive
1. The Jeje People pOeEhwZ,,,,!!!
2. Manny Villar and his douchebaggery
3. Justin Bieber being gay

DEFINE: JEJE PEOPLE?JEJEMON

The internet lacks the proper description of the jeje people. I know and understand why. Words seem to be insufficient and proper typing style used in defining them raised a lot of complaints from the HJO (Homo-Jejenus Organization), claiming that it destroys their image and

hInd3 nAhMaAn pFo0o3zS kAmEe gAnyUhNzS mAg-tYPeEe eEhZ,,,,, jEjE,,, sO siMpL3,,, e33wZzsS,,!!

So here are a few pictures that can enlighten your definition of “jeje people”:

NSFW!!

And how rational people plan to solve this alsdjieafjks…

Here’s something serious on jeje’s etymology.

jeje is the derrogative term used for a certain categorised kind of people, mostly with the origin/roots from Spain or Venezuela. In their language the letter j isn’t pronounced as we know. Their j sounds more like our h with a presound of a person that has got something stuck in his/her throuht, hence they type jejeje or jajaja when they want to express laughing in written words, which happen more than often. This is why we call them jejes. READ MORE

Note: This post was made weeks before the jejemon outbreak. It’ll be awesome to know how much traffic I can get by adding a jejemon tag. WHAT UP. Still, jeje people=jejemon. Back then we had no specific term. Post updated.